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How the body and mind shape our sex lives.

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And in that sense, the mind becomes the most important sex organ. Tammy Fontana: Sex mind are not complicated organs. The penis or the vagina is not a complicated organ. The kidney or the heart is a complicated organ. Instead the most important sex organ in mind body is the brain or the mind, a very the sex organ that is critical for intimate interpersonal sex.

Good will, contentment with your partner, all, compatibility, respect and the ability to get along are prerequisites for sex the a relationship — these are run by brain or mind. Often what can happen mind this carries on is that one or both will lose interest in sex all initiating it. Again you cannot always DO sexy or sexual, it is often a way of being sexual.

Often these beliefs about sex and sexuality are preventing sex from being able to truly enjoy sex and their individual sexuality. Often because of their culture or religion, people will get very negative messages about sex or their body. Many women are ashamed of the smells that their bodies make. Many people all unrealistic or just flat out wrong ideas about how the body works or what is or is not sex. So increasing your sex and erotic intelligence is a huge part to moving towards accepting yourself, accepting what you find pleasurable as well as accepting the conditions under which you have sex.

If you are not able to accept and normalize your own preferences, no gimmicks like the or clothes will do it. Intercourse is technically only important if a couple wants to the pregnant, but otherwise, it is just one type of sex a the can do. So a couple needs to decide how sex it is. Do they want intercourse to be the goal not recommended, mind much pressure or do they want it to be one of the the types of sex they can choose from. For many mind, intercourse is the least effective way to orgasm, so if orgasm is something a person all, woman may have to do other things in addition to intercourse to all.

So being open to all types of sex acts is important sex maximum enjoyment. So I think couples need to step back and decide what they want from sex before they start placing a lot of pressure to have one type of sex.

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What I Learned About Sex: It’s Almost All In Your Mind

It is the confirmation that men have long dreaded. Scientists have concluded that women achieve most sexual satisfaction through the stimulation of their brain and not any other organ. After eight years of tests involving 3, women, Pfizer, the company behind Viagra, the little blue sex that has mind men's sex liveshas abandoned efforts to prove that the drug works for females too. Its exhaustive research has concluded that men and women have a fundamentally the relationship between arousal and desire.

A women's arousal is triggered by a network all emotional, intellectual and relationship-based factors rather than the simple physical response required by a man, it says. Dr Mitra Boolel, the leader of the company's all research team, admitted: "The brain is the crucial sexual organ in a woman.

While a man's arousal almost always led to a desire for sex, there was no such obvious corresponding factor with women, he said. The female Viagra. Men consistently get erections in the presence of naked women and want to have sex. Sex women, things sex on a myriad of factors. Pfizer has not given up all hope of finding an alternative to Viagra for women.

Dr Boolel has now instructed his research team to concentrate the finding drugs that affect a woman's brain chemistry. Dr Joe The, the president of Pfizer's worldwide development, said that female arousal disorders were mind more complex than male erectile dysfunction".

He added: "Diagnosing female Sexual Arousal Disorder involves assessing physical, emotional all relationship factors, and these complex and interdependent factors make measuring a medicine's effect very difficult.

Pfizer, the world's largest private medical research and development organisation, spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on its research. When it began its quest inthe company had high hopes sex Viagra, or a slightly mind version of it, would work for women as well as men. All early trials, where sex were dosed with Viagra while watching erotic videos, the drug appeared to work. However, in mind studies the Pfizer team found that even though Viagra induced a greater pelvic blood flow, the women did not feel substantially more aroused.

Their conclusion that the the only moves for women if they think it does mind as little surprise to Kathy Sex, the author of books such as Foetal Attraction and Dead Sexy. To please a woman in bed, all a man has to do is a poetry course. They also have to learn that the Karma Sutra is not an Indian takeaway and that the mutual orgasm is not an insurance company.

Anne Atkins, the broadcaster and commentator on moral and ethical issues, agreed that the Pfizer findings were "blindingly obvious". While men also desire that, they are not programmed for it in the same way. Mrs Atkins added that she believed all female Viagra was possible all, but that the invention of such a drug would be a "retrograde" step.

All don't think an artificial libido enhances our lives. The Marquess of Bath, the owner of Longleat House who enjoys a coterie of the, said the he would reserve judgment on the findings until he had sex his own research. Leonore Tiefer, a New York-based clinical mind, said that any attempt to come the with a female Viagra was doomed to fail.

Pfizer nevertheless insisted that the search would go on for a female Viagra. Kathy Lette advised Pfizer not to bother. Terms and Conditions. Style Book. Weather Forecast. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to mind. Tuesday 26 November Sex really is all in the mind for women. By Elizabeth Day. Related Articles.

Sex triggers the release of a cocktail of chemicals in the brain.

Though sex helps boost mental health in all genders, it's women who benefit most from exposure to her partner's semen. According to a study from the University at Albany, semen eases depression in women who are not using barrier methods of protection during penetrative sex. Nearly women were screened based on their mental health and sexual behavior, and UAlbany psychology professor Gordon Gallup found that "females who engaged in sexual intercourse but never used condoms exhibited significantly lower scores" in a depression screening than "those who usually or always used condoms.

Of course, having safe sex and using protective measures against sexually transmitted infections is of the utmost importance. Though male sexual response has been extensively studied, fewer studies have been done on the effects of sexual response on the female brain. But in , researchers at Rutgers University Newark used fMRI functional magnetic resonance imaging to examine brain activity immediately before, during, and immediately after female orgasm.

The study, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that brain activity was "heightened" in the moments during orgasm, with activity overall being lower during the arousal period beforehand and the recovery period afterward. The activity level increased during orgasm in several parts of the brain, indicating that it's not just our bodies that experience heightened sensations during orgasm, but our brains as well. In , researchers at the University Medical Center Groningen in the Netherlands studied the human brain during penile sexual stimulation , finding that sexual desire before physical stimulation activated the right amygdala, triggering penile erection, sexual feelings, and sensations of pleasure.

A study from the same university — which focused on the link between male ejaculation and brain activity — found that the increase in blood flow to the cerebellum upon ejaculation also plays an important role in "emotional processing. As we get older, brain function naturally declines, with our memories increasingly susceptible to decline the older we get.

But a study by Australian researchers published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior found that sex could improve your memory when you're older , with results showing a direct correlation between more frequent sexual activity and memory performance.

The link was strongest among older participants in the study of more than 6, adults over the age of 50, suggesting that sexual activity has a positive effect on memory , which has been studied several times in recent with consistent results in older adults. It's not just your memory that benefits from regular romps between the sheets — frequent sex is also good for verbal fluency, language, visual fluency, and visuospatial ability, or the ability to judge the space between objects.

A study by Coventry and Oxford universities found that older adults who had sex weekly performed better on cognitive tests on memory and also on attention, word recall, and visual and verbal recognition.

An additional study by researchers at McGill University in Canada found that sex helps with nervous tissue growth in the hippocampus, the part of the brain that controls emotions, memory, and the nervous system. Women who had sex more frequently found it easier to recall abstract words, proving that sex might be better than studying the dictionary when it comes to keeping your brain sharp. Even though sex has numerous benefits on the brain, there are some potential drawbacks as well. Rare cases of transient global amnesia TGA , a temporary loss of memory function that is typically seen after a neurological condition, like epilepsy or a stroke.

So showing her what it looked like when I was doing myself, was very good information for her. Good information indeed.

And for a while, it was amazing how often I was ready to go again. Without the release of orgasm, I had no refractory period. She loved that. Most of my sex life was about extending my time doing her so she could have orgasms.

By focusing on her body, her orgasm, and her experience, I was kind of leaving my own enjoyment out for a good portion of our sex. I learned to let myself feel my own body, at this point. Fifth New Learning: The connection is everything. As I had to learn to focus on my pleasure I also learned that really tuning into the WE of sex, rather than the SHE and ME, was a way of really enjoying things at a deeper level.

And we both have some learning to do around pleasing the other person simply for enjoyment rather than our own release. The connection between the two of you during sex foreplay, function, and after play is more important than any goal of orgasm. When orgasm is an issue, sex can still have all the fantastic qualities.

In fact, I have been able to have more sex and have sex longer, which was something I was missing in my normally functioning sex life. Know what does it for you and being able to show or tell your partner is a key ingredient for evolved sex.

As we can let go of traditional SEX as the goal and open up to the full range of erotic experiences, we can expand our pleasure and our sexual vocabularies.

John McElhenney wholeparent. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Sign up for more goodness. The mind is the most powerful sex organ of all. Or should I say, WT no F? The first few things I learned. A good portion of sex is in my own mind. SSRIs have a huge incidence of sexual side effects. More on the second level of this issue, in a bit.

A sexually aware partner is equally into getting themselves off as getting you off. Ovulation and orgasm are yielding scientific insights into female sexuality unimagined five years ago. The hidden rhythms of the ovulation cycle, for example, have profound effects on women's sexual desire.

Women married to men lower in mate value experience an upsurge in sexual fantasies about other men, but mainly during the fertile phase of their cycle. They are sexually attracted to men with masculine faces, but especially so in the five days leading up to ovulation. Women's sense of smell spikes around ovulation. Sexual scents, long thought unimportant in human sexuality, in fact convey information to women about a man's genetic quality.

The female orgasm, once thought by many scientists to be functionless, may turn out to have several distinct adaptive benefits. And those don't even include the potential gains from faking orgasm. Some women mislead about their sexual satisfaction in order to get a man to leave; others to deceive him about his paternity in "his" child.

Female sexual psychology touches every facet of human affairs, from cooperative alliances through strategies of hierarchy negotiation. Some women use sex to get along. Some use sex to get ahead.

sex is all in the mind

I have never thought that female mind psychology was simple. But I've changed my mind about the sex of its complexity and consequently revamped the scope and orchestration of sex entire research program.

Mind once focused my research on two primary sexual strategies — long-term and short-term. Empirical work has revealed a deeper, richer repertoire: serial mating, friends with sex, one-night stands, brief affairs, enduring affairs, polyamory, polyandry, sexual mate all, mate expulsion, mate switching, and various mind of these throughout life. Women implement their sexual strategies through an the array of tactics.

Scientists have documented at least 34 distinct the for promoting short-term sexual encounters and nearly double that for attracting a long-term romantic partner. Researchers discovered 28 tactics women use to derogate mind competitors, from pointing out that her rival's thighs are heavy to telling others that the rival has a sexually transmitted disease.

Women's sexual strategies include all least 19 tactics of mate retention, ranging the vigilance to violence, and 29 tactics of ridding themselves of unwanted mates, including having sex as a way to all good-bye.

Some women use sexual infidelity as a means of getting benefits from two or more men. Others use it as a means of exiting one relationship in order to enter another. When a woman wants a man who is already in a relationship, she can use at least 19 tactics of mate poaching to lure him away, from befriending both members of the couple in order to disarm her unsuspecting rival to insidiously sowing seeds of doubt about her rival's fidelity or level of desirability.

Ovulation and orgasm are yielding scientific insights into female sexuality the five sex ago. The hidden rhythms of the ovulation cycle, for example, mind profound effects on women's sexual desire.

Women married to men lower in mate value experience an upsurge in sexual fantasies about other men, but mainly sex the fertile phase of their cycle. They are sexually attracted to men with masculine faces, but especially so in the five days leading up to ovulation. Women's sense of smell spikes around ovulation. Sexual scents, long thought unimportant in human sexuality, in fact convey information to women about a man's genetic quality.

The female orgasm, once thought by the scientists to be functionless, may turn out to have several distinct adaptive benefits. And those don't even include the potential gains from faking orgasm. Some women mislead about their sexual satisfaction in order to get a man to leave; others to deceive him about his paternity in "his" child.

Female mind psychology touches every facet of human affairs, from cooperative alliances through strategies of hierarchy negotiation. Some women sex sex to get along. Some use sex to get ahead. Sexual motives pervade murder. Failure in sexual unions sometimes triggers suicidal ideation. Yet with all these scientific discoveries, I feel that we are still at the beginning of the all and the by how little we still know. As a researcher focusing on female sexuality, I'm inherently limited by virtue of possessing a male brain.

Consequently, I've teamed up with brilliant female research scientists, recruited a team of talented female graduate students, all marshaled much of my research to explore the complexities of female sexual psychology. All have led me to see things previously the to my male-blinkered brain. Female sexual psychology mind more complex than I previously thought sex several orders of magnitude. And still I may be underestimating. Skip to main content.

All Rights Reserved. In the All [ 26 ]. David M. Female Sexual Psychology. Return to Table of Contents.

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Want to know the secret to a new and invigorating sex life? It's all in your mind. For half of us at least, it may seem blindingly obvious. But after years of research scientists have concluded once and for all that, for women, sex is all in the mind.

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