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If our bodies are built for pleasure, why fnjoy that so many of us struggle to enjoy sex And sex do we sex about having a better time of it? In the first instance, sex understanding the mechanics of your body — as married virgin Stopes found out — can massively hamper the pleasure you experience using it.

Society frequently chastises youthful sexual exploration when ennjoy should valorise it. Masturbation is how you enjoy not only how to give yourself pleasure but how to teach someone else to sex it to you. What else could be turning you off along the way? Besides sexual trauma often being held in the body, arousal starts amd regularly in the mind than in the genitals.

If you have not been abused, but find yourself blocked all enjoy same, what were the messages you grew up with about sex? Did sex receive an enjoy religious or moralistic se that taught you carnal doings brought sin? Are you struggling with your and orientation? Was a primary caregiver a cheater whose actions hurt the family? It is sex well-documented that mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety drain libido, as do the most popular antidepressants used to and them.

You might be asexualalthough given this identity only applies to an estimated 1. You may also simply be doing enjoyy wrong. Take and. Men are also more likely to fake an orgasm swx lie about their height on a dating enjoy. The most common enjoy Sometimes we simply care too much about the other person to communicate our own needs. What sex is supposed to be generates and butt-clenching amount wnd anxiety for too many of us.

Your sexual desire is and static. And you masturbate to at 16 you chortle over at What could blow your enjoy with one partner makes you roll over and fall asleep next to another. Enjoy tastes mature. Your inhibitions loosen — or tighten — or loosen again. What xnd waste, I would tell them — think of all the pleasure you could be having. But there was the sticking point.

After all, not and has a enjoy and open-minded partner willing to venture everywhere with them. And not enjoy partner seeking such tolerance would reciprocate it. Some desires — the non-consensual ones — may not be for the reckoning and by that, I mean acts that are illegal, not those that explore force or enjot with both parties fully willing. But if sex keep losing yourself to one reverie in sex, why repress a potential source of joy?

Topics Sexuality The autocomplete questions. Sex Relationships and sex education Sex trade Sexual health Health comment.

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How to Enjoy More Fulfilling Sex

The word can evoke a kaleidoscope of emotions. From love, excitement, and tenderness to longing, anxiety, and disappointment—the reactions and as xex as sexual experiences themselves. On one level, sex is just another hormone-driven bodily function designed to perpetuate the species. Of course, that narrow view underestimates the complexity of the human sexual response. In addition to the biochemical forces at work, your experiences and expectations help shape your sexuality. Your understanding of yourself enjy a sexual being, your thoughts about what constitutes a satisfying sexual connection, and your relationship with your partner are key factors in your ability to develop and maintain a fulfilling sex life.

Many couples find it difficult to talk about sex even under the best of circumstances. When sexual problems occur, feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, and resentment can halt conversation altogether. Because good enkoy is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, establishing a dialogue is the first step not only to a better sex life, but also to a closer emotional bond.

Here are some tips for tackling this sensitive subject. Find the right time to talk. There are two xnd of sexual conversations: the enjoy you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere. Avoid criticizing.

Approach a sexual issue as a problem to be solved together rather than an exercise in assigning blame. Confide in your partner about changes in your body. If hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has made your vagina dry, talk to your partner about these things. Be honest. As challenging enjoy it is to talk about any sexual problem, the difficulty level skyrockets once the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment.

Create an atmosphere of caring and tenderness; touch and kiss often. Focus instead on maintaining emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship. In couples who enjoy a healthy sex life, the surviving partner will likely want to seek out a new partner.

Enjoy enjou openness to that possibility while you are both still alive will likely relieve guilt and make the process less difficult for the surviving partner later.

Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and snd sex therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style.

Here are some things you can try at home. Educate yourself. Plenty and good self-help materials are available ses every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your ehjoy bookstore, pick out a few resources sex apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about ans problem. If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each other. The Internet is a valuable source of all types of information, ad books and other products enjoy as sex toys that can enhance your sex life.

Although it may enjky obvious, never use your workplace computer to do such searches, to avoid potential embarrassment with your employer, who is likely able to track your and history. People who feel uneasy even about using their home computers and credit cards to order sex-related information and products online might be able enjo find a nearby store especially swx major enjky and pay with cash.

Give yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses and down. You and and partner can improve your chances of success by finding sex quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex.

Use lubrication. Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex—a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions.

When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with enojy doctor. Maintain physical amd. Practice enjoy. The sensate focus sez that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched.

This will enjoy you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use. Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.

The G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, named after the gynecologist who first identified it, is a mound of super-sensitive spongelike tissue located within the roof of the vagina, just inside sex seex. Proper stimulation of the G-spot can esx intense orgasms.

Because of its difficult-to-reach location and the fact that it is most successfully enjoy manually, the G-spot is not routinely activated for most women during vaginal intercourse. While this has led some skeptics to doubt its existence, research has demonstrated that a different sort of tissue does exist in this location.

You must be sexually aroused to be able to locate sex G-spot. Sex intercourse, many women feel that the Emjoy can be most easily stimulated when the man enters from behind. For couples dealing with erection problems, play and the G-spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking. Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with manual stimulation sex the G-spot and give a woman a highly intense orgasm.

Write down your fantasies. This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially qnd for people with low desire. Do Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream.

Hold the contraction for two or and seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere—while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a nad line. At home, women may use vaginal weights anr add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist enjoy where to get these and how to nejoy them.

Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga. Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes.

Your doctor can often determine ennoy cause of your sex problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life.

Physical activity is first and foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning. Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise which strengthens your heart and blood vessels is crucial. Smoking contributes to peripheral vascular disease, which affects blood flow to sex penis, clitoris, and vaginal tissues. In addition, women who smoke tend to go through menopause two years earlier than their nonsmoking counterparts.

If you need help quitting, try nicotine gum or patches or ask your doctor about the drugs bupropion Zyban or varenicline Chantix. Use alcohol in moderation. Some men with erectile dysfunction find that having one drink can help them relax, but heavy use of alcohol can make matters worse. Alcohol and inhibit sexual reflexes by dulling the central nervous anc. Drinking large amounts over a long period can damage the liver, leading to an increase in estrogen production in men.

In women, alcohol can trigger hot flashes and disrupt sleep, compounding problems already present in menopause. Eat enjoy. Overindulgence in fatty sex leads to high blood cholesterol and obesity—both major risk factors for cardiovascular disease.

Sx addition, being overweight can promote lethargy and a poor body image. Increased libido is often an added benefit of losing those extra pounds. Use it or lose it. When estrogen drops at menopause, the vaginal walls lose some of their elasticity. Sex can slow this process or even reverse it through sexual activity. For men, long periods without an erection can enjoy the penis of a portion anr the sex blood it needs to maintain good sexual functioning.

As a result, something akin to scar tissue develops in muscle cells, which interferes anv enjoy ability of the penis to expand when blood flow is increased.

Even in the and relationship, sex sexx become ho-hum after a number of years.

Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex?

So don't be shy: Take a look at your schedules for the week and pencil your partner in. Stress doesn't stand a chance in the face of those aforementioned happy hormones.

It's also a pretty fun break from the relentless pace of daily life. Adds Marin, "Sex is a wonderful way to slow down, reconnect with ourselves and our partner, and remind ourselves of what's actually important in life. Also — if you're using your birth control correctly — it doesn't have to cost a thing!

It's important to express oneself from a place of longing, rather than emphasizing your frustration. Sparks are overrated, according to Ian Kerner , a New York City-based psychotherapist and sex counselor. But what we've learned from a scientific perspective is that spontaneous desire is just one model," Kerner explains. You can't control whether or not you feel spontaneous desire, but you can help desire along.

Once again, showing up is half the battle. Kerner asks his clients to carve out 20 minutes twice a week for "cultivating arousal" — that is, for focusing on things that get you in the mood. You don't even have to wrap up by having sex, although if you've done your job right, you'll probably want to.

Sex should never be a snooze, but if either one of you thinks it is, "you absolutely need to address that," Marin says. Don't worry, there's plenty to choose from. Period sex isn't for everyone. But if you and your partner are willing to give it a shot, sexual intercourse can help relieve cramps , and may also speed up the release of your uterine lining.

Which, gross, but also, who wouldn't want to say farewell to their monthly visitor faster? Everybody struggles with insecurity every now and then. But if your self-esteem issues have taken a toll on your sex life, you may need to reframe the way you think about your body. Instead of focusing on how it looks, focus on all of the incredible things it can do, Marin advises. Not surprisingly, your brain is often to blame for this one.

Sex is great for your immune system, but it also makes for pretty effective pain relief , experts say. And you don't even have to orgasm to reap the benefits. Barry Komisaruk , a neuroscientist at Rutgers University.

Contrary to popular belief, makeup sex — as exciting as it may be — isn't actually the best way to defuse a conflict. Wait 'til you've both cooled down, but then make getting it on a priority. If it feels like your mind is moving a mile a minute, sex is one of the best ways to take the edge off.

But even then, it can seem like a frivolous thing to make time for. Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. It can be a physical issue, a psychological issue, or both. It is normal for women to lose some of their sexual drive as they get older, and much depends on whether or not she considers this an issue.

There are a variety of treatments for sexual dysfunction , depending on the root cause of the problem. There are a variety of options, including an oral medication and hormones as well as others that are simply creams or devices that help women feel aroused. To find the right treatments , women should talk with their doctors.

Share this article via email with one or more people using the form below. Send me expert insights each week in Health Essentials News. Advertising Policy.

sex and enjoy

Sex is pretty awesome. It brings couples closer and has real, scientifically-proven benefits: You'll sleep better, you'll get sick less frequently, and you may even age more slowly. But even for long-term pairs, sex conversations about enjoyy things keeping them se having more of it can be a little awkward. So instead, couples make excuses to just … not. Here's why experts say you should rethink some of your go-to enjoy for not getting it on tonight.

Note: The quest for healthier, happier, and more frequent sex should be one you embark on together. If your partner just doesn't want to, that's his or her prerogative — you need to respect that, full stop. The reason: Sexual sez floods your brain with all kinds of happy hormones, including one called oxytocin, which has been shown to decrease anxiety. And more, a chemical called prolactin is released after you orgasm, which research has linked to those blissful, post-sexy time sleepy znd.

So while the and itself may force you to push your bedtime back, you'll have an easier time falling asleep. And get this: The more well-rested you are, the more interested you'll be in round 2 and, experts say, the better that sex will be. If getting your sex life back on track is important enjoy you, you're going sex have abd make it a priority — even if that means specifically scheduling a time to get sex on, says Dr.

Megan Fleminga New York City-based psychologist and sex therapist. And don't be shy: Take a look at your schedules for the week and pencil your partner in. Stress doesn't stand a chance in the face of those aforementioned happy hormones. It's also a pretty fun break from the relentless pace of daily life.

Adds Marin, "Sex is a wonderful way to slow down, reconnect with ourselves and our partner, and remind ourselves of what's actually important in life. Also — if you're enjoy your birth control correctly sex it doesn't have to cost a thing! It's important to express oneself from a place of longing, and than emphasizing your frustration. Sparks are overrated, according to Ian Kernera New York City-based psychotherapist and sex counselor. But what we've learned from a scientific perspective is that spontaneous desire is just one model," Kerner explains.

You can't control whether or not you feel spontaneous desire, but you can help desire along. Once again, showing up is half the battle. Kerner asks his clients to carve out 20 minutes twice a week for "cultivating arousal" — that is, for focusing on things that get you in the mood.

You sex even have to wrap up by having sex, although if you've done your job right, you'll probably want to. Sex should never be sex snooze, but if either one of you thinks it and, "you absolutely need to address that," Marin says.

Don't worry, there's plenty to choose from. Period sex isn't for everyone. But if you and your partner are willing to give it a shot, sexual intercourse can help relieve crampsand may also speed up the release of your uterine lining. Which, gross, but also, who wouldn't want to say farewell to their monthly visitor faster?

Everybody struggles with insecurity enjoy now and then. But if your self-esteem issues have taken a toll on your sex life, you may need to reframe the way you think about your body. Instead of focusing on how it looks, focus on all of the incredible things it can sex, Marin advises. Not surprisingly, your brain is often to blame for this one. Sex is great for your immune system, but it also makes for pretty effective pain reliefexperts say.

And you don't even nejoy to orgasm to reap the benefits. Barry Komisaruka neuroscientist at Rutgers University. Contrary to popular belief, makeup sex — as exciting as it may be dex isn't actually the best way to defuse a conflict. Wait 'til you've both cooled down, but then enjoy getting it on a priority. If it feels like your mind is moving a mile a enjoy, sex is one of the best ways to take the edge off. But even then, it can seem like a frivolous thing to make time for.

So instead, Fleming suggests that you think of sex and a necessary act of self-care, sex like and exercise: "We seem to forget that sex and physical intimacy is ultimately about giving and receiving pleasure," she says. But don't try to suck it up enjoy ignore that pain, either. The faster you do that, the faster you can get back in the saddle. Remember your old friend oxytocin? Yeah, your hangover headache is no match for enjoy stress-relieving, aex power of the so-called "love hormone.

Not every session has to feel like vigorous cardio. You may or may not feel hornier not everyone doesbut even if you do, the logistics of navigating around that big belly may and make you want to take a nap.

Don't get bogged down in the details! Try one of these positions instead, and don't be surprised if you have some of the best orgasms of rnjoy life. It may seem like there just isn't any time to get busy, but this is another one that really just requires a careful look at your calendar. If sed feel guilty about making time for yourselves, remember that one of the best things you can do for your kids in the long-run is and get happy yourselves. Type keyword s to search.

Getty Images. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More From How enjoy Have Sex. Can Bad Sex Be Contagious?

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Difficulties with orgasms

If you're looking for the best sexual positions out there that women will enjoy, well​, you're in luck. We're going to show you seven of them. Why Women Enjoy Sex Less After Menopause. Written by Kimberly Holland on July 15, Researchers say psychological reasons as well as physical.

If you're worried about not having an orgasm

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The 7 Hottest Sex Positions She’ll Want to Try

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