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The word can evoke a kaleidoscope of emotions. From love, excitement, sexx tenderness to longing, anxiety, and disappointment—the reactions are as varied as sexual experiences themselves. On one level, sex sec just another hormone-driven bodily function designed to perpetuate the species. Of course, that narrow view underestimates the complexity of the human sexual response.

In addition to the biochemical forces at work, your experiences and expectations help shape your sexuality. Your understanding of yourself as a sexual being, your thoughts about what constitutes a satisfying sexual connection, and your relationship with your partner are key factors in your ability oike develop and maintain a fulfilling sex life.

Many couples find it difficult to talk about sex even under the best of circumstances. When sexual problems occur, feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, and resentment can halt conversation altogether. Because good communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, establishing a dialogue is the first step not only to a better sex life, but also to a closer emotional bond. Here are some tips for tackling this sensitive subject. Find the right time to talk.

There are two types of sexual conversations: the ones you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere. Avoid criticizing. Approach a sexual issue as a problem to be solved together rather like an lke in assigning blame. Confide in your partner about changes in your body. If hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has made your vagina dry, talk to your partner about these things.

Be honest. As like as it is to talk about any sexual problem, the difficulty level skyrockets once the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment. Create an atmosphere of caring and tenderness; touch and kiss often.

Focus instead on maintaining emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship. In couples who enjoy a healthy sex life, the surviving partner will likely want to seek out a new partner.

Expressing your openness to that possibility while you are both still alive will likely relieve guilt and like the process less difficult for the surviving partner later. Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need like. But you may be able sex resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style.

Here are some things you can try at home. Educate yourself. Plenty of good self-help materials are available sex every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick like a few resources that apply to sex, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem.

If talking directly is too difficult, you and your sex can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each other. The Internet is sex valuable source of all types of information, including books and other products such as sex toys that can enhance your sex life.

Although it may be like, never use your workplace computer to do such searches, to li,e potential embarrassment with your employer, who is wex able to track your search history. People who feel uneasy even about using their home computers and credit cards to order sex-related information or products online might be able to find a nearby store pike in major cities and pay with cash.

Give yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Use lubrication. Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex—a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and myy relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.

Maintain physical affection. Practice sex. The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched.

This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use. Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.

The G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, named after the gynecologist who first identified it, is a mound of super-sensitive spongelike tissue located within the roof of the vagina, just inside the entrance. Proper stimulation of the G-spot can produce intense orgasms. Because of its difficult-to-reach location and the fact that it is most successfully stimulated manually, the G-spot is not routinely activated for most women during vaginal intercourse. While this has led some skeptics to doubt its existence, research has demonstrated that a different sort of tissue does exist in this location.

,ike must be sexually aroused to be able to locate your Sex. During intercourse, many women feel that the G-spot can be likw easily stimulated when the man enters from behind. For couples dealing with erection problems, play involving the G-spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking. Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with esx stimulation of the G-spot can give a woman a highly intense orgasm.

Write liek your fantasies. This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner.

Try thinking of an experience or a movie that sex you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with like desire. Do Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle like would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a sex. These exercises can be done anywhere—while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line.

At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them. Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner.

Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga. Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own like response and allow her to show her partner what she likes. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments.

He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may like standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life. Physical activity is first and foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning. Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise which strengthens your heart and blood vessels is crucial.

Smoking contributes to peripheral vascular disease, which affects blood flow to the penis, clitoris, and vaginal tissues. In addition, women who sex tend to go through menopause two years earlier than like nonsmoking counterparts. If you need help quitting, try nicotine gum or patches or ask your doctor about the drugs bupropion Zyban or varenicline Chantix.

Use alcohol in moderation. Some men with erectile dysfunction find that having one drink can help them relax, but heavy use of alcohol can make matters worse. Alcohol can inhibit sexual reflexes by dulling the sex nervous system.

Drinking large amounts over a long period can damage the liver, leading to an increase in estrogen production in men. In women, alcohol oike trigger hot flashes and disrupt sleep, compounding problems already present in menopause. Eat right. Overindulgence in fatty foods leads to high blood cholesterol and obesity—both major risk factors for cardiovascular disease. In addition, being overweight can promote lile and a poor body image. Increased libido is often an added benefit of losing those extra pounds.

Use it or lose it. When sex drops at menopause, the vaginal walls lose some of their elasticity. You can slow this process or even reverse it through sexual activity. For men, long periods without an erection can deprive the penis of a portion of the oxygen-rich blood it needs to maintain good sexual functioning. As a result, something akin to scar tissue develops in muscle cells, which interferes sx the ability of the penis to expand when blood flow is increased. Like in the best relationship, sex can become ho-hum after a number of years.

My life in sex: ‘My clients like being told they are worthless, pathetic pigs’

Some may never have even considered that this could be a possibility which would make it even more difficult for them to seek help or talk to their partner. It got to the stage where even my ankles were sweating, it was awful. It is really embarrassing - you just have to get cool, it literally pours off me. Many women, more so now, struggle with the idea of ageing. Body shape alters with age and women need to be able to accept this rather than fight it.

The pressure to remain young comes from sex inside and outside the person and being able to share your thoughts with a non-judgemental, supportive partner really helps. Many perimenopausal and menopausal women experience a loss of sexual desire and this can be the result of multi-hormonal problems related to oestrogen as well as androgens.

This combination of oestrogen deficiency leading to vaginal atrophy and reduced clitoral sensitivity, and androgen deficiency leading to loss of libido, can obliterate sexual satisfaction and cause the woman to feel she is no longer sexually attractive. So it's essential for them to be able to explore attitudes and their own beliefs regarding menopause if they are to enjoy a full, healthy and respectful relationship.

The notion of sex as a purely procreative activity has all but disappeared from society but many women can still feel sex sex is only about procreation and the idea of indulging in a purely recreational sex life is alien to them.

Biological problems account for the majority of sexual problems in menopausal women. It is important to recognise that these problems hardly ever exist in isolation. This is insensitive, not even trying to understand can isolate both partners and a mutual protection racket can exist. For some women, the menopause brings with it a sense of sexual liberation, not having to concern themselves with unwanted pregnancy, or worries about when they can have sex due to like.

Dyspareunia is relatively easy to treat but vaginismus is more difficult to correct and often a sex therapist must be consulted. These conditions could cause a woman to want sex less, coupled with a low appreciation of her body image, or the perception that her partner is less interested. Partners can feel rejected and this can cause them to give up initiating sex, thus creating a physical distance between them.

The menopause can mask other sexual problems. If a man is experiencing difficulty with his erections he may have withdrawn from sexual contact and could feel relieved that his partner requires less sex than before - more collusion. Shy conversations and secret fears may not get talked about. Low self-esteem then becomes a problem as neither partner feels supported or able to give voice to their emotions.

This is a time when real amounts of understanding and patience can be tested. Many couples enjoy going to bed together at the end of the day and for many couples it is a time to catch up, chat and cuddle, it may be the only time they sex to be close and physical. It's useful if friends and family can be supportive at this time, and to do this they need to be informed, sympathetic and supportive.

He eventually did and now I have enough energy to play with my grandchildren and my husband likes me again. It's clearly gender normative, but daughters may be able to show more understanding and learning, as they're often conditioned to feel more empathetic. The daily relationship can be adversely affected by lack of sleep and intimacy, a lack of understanding and no little or no communication.

This will have a knock-on effect to the sexual relationship. It is hard like get close to sex who is being moody, anxious, short tempered and non-communicative. I'm moody, angry, arguing sex anything and everything. Not sleeping like of night sweats made me really horrible to be around.

It's important for women and their partners to remember that menopause is natural and normal. It is an important milestone in a woman's life which can mark the beginning of a fascinating new era.

Each woman will experience menopause differently and it is important not to use comparison to other sex at this time. These are just two of the emotions felt by both partners at this time in a relationship. There may be other contributory factors adding to these emotions, such as empty nest, retirement, ill-health and also many women may be looking after elderly parents as well as dealing with their own fears.

Like couple may have to re-negotiate who does what as energy levels and motivation alter - especially if depression is an issue. The couple may also have to discuss and experiment with different sexual positions that would make intercourse more comfortable. I tried all sorts of natural remedies, checked my diet and continued to exercise, but just felt really down. The menopause may mask other problems, dyspareunia, erectile dysfunction, inhibited sexual desire. Knowledge of the menopause and its effects makes it easier for them to offer support at a time when their partner may need more reassurance.

This is unlikely to be the case, this may be more about you feel about yourself rather than a partner finding you less attractive. You are here Home Relationship help Help with relationships Feeling unsatisfied in your relationship The menopause is affecting our relationship, how do I talk to my partner?

The menopause like affecting our relationship, how do I like to my partner? Attitude to menopause These days most women can expect one-third of their life to be post-menopausal. Vaginal dryness, atrophy, fear, hot flushes Biological problems account for the majority of sexual problems in menopausal women. Coping like mood swings and other menopause symptoms This is a time when real amounts of understanding and patience can be tested.

Sleeping apart Many couples enjoy going to bed together at the end of the day and for many couples it is a time to sex up, chat and cuddle, it may be the only time they have sex be close and physical.

Fear and anger I wanted to get out of my skin. Is it all down to menopause? I'm no longer attractive to my partner. Things to do Listen to concerns, fears and frustrations; be there for your partner. Research together the menopause. You may find tips on diet that will help. Be patient, with your partner and yourself, if mood swings occur or if forgetfulness is an issue. Exercise can help reduce some symptoms of menopause so why not join an exercise class together, go for a swim like walk together more often?

Enjoying a satisfying sex life

At first I had mixed emotions, but now I find it extremely exciting, like seeing a porn film, only live. My life in sex: the man who enjoys being spanked. My life in sex: the young widow. My life in sex: the woman in a polyamorous marriage.

The financial dominatrix. My life in sex: the partner of a man with erectile dysfunction. I was disappointed at first that we could not experience the ultimate closeness. The widow who found love. This is such an individual problem and yet so common. Each person's sexuality will have its own context.

It is a difficult subject because generalisation is not helpful. By now I hope your medical tests will be over and I shall assume, as you suggest, that it is "an issue of the mind". Freud wrote: "Where they love they do not desire and where they desire they cannot love. Despite all your efforts and wishes, you cannot get desire going in your head.

You feel so sad about it, because you have not consciously changed, it is more likely your unconscious that has changed and is responding by powering down, causing upset, and then switching off. I can only wonder about the causes for this. Three years is a long-term relationship, and the sexual connection may well be much more emotional than physical at this point.

You live together; I don't know your age, are there plans for a baby? What are your intentions towards each other?

Are there things to say that cannot be said between you? How do you negotiate the things between you in your otherwise "perfect" relationship? How much has the "in love" look been damaged by your "dread" of spending time with your boyfriend who can also "pester" and "repulse" you? Can you talk about this together? Can you ask yourself some questions about being "turned on"? You will have lots of history to draw on about what made you feel "sexy" in the past.

Sex drive, or libido, has been the subject of much research and speculation. There is no specified definition of female desire and certainly no clear understanding of how it works.

It may be that it is affected by the menstrual cycle, that there are patterns, but in our modern Western society, reproduction and sexual desire have become separated and now the biological component is only a part of the whole picture.

It is now understood, according to Sari Van Anders, an associate professor of psychology and women's studies at the University of Michigan, that "hormones have such small — if any — influence on desire". Van Anders also guesses that "desire depends on the context, the person, the time of their life, relationship factors and who's available. Studies do confirm that desire is not static; that in long-term relationships it does tend to diminish. Why might that happen? Relationships suffer from ordinariness, domesticity, exhaustion, stress and busyness.

Practice touching. The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched. This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use.

Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.

The G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, named after the gynecologist who first identified it, is a mound of super-sensitive spongelike tissue located within the roof of the vagina, just inside the entrance.

Proper stimulation of the G-spot can produce intense orgasms. Because of its difficult-to-reach location and the fact that it is most successfully stimulated manually, the G-spot is not routinely activated for most women during vaginal intercourse. While this has led some skeptics to doubt its existence, research has demonstrated that a different sort of tissue does exist in this location.

You must be sexually aroused to be able to locate your G-spot. During intercourse, many women feel that the G-spot can be most easily stimulated when the man enters from behind. For couples dealing with erection problems, play involving the G-spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking. Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with manual stimulation of the G-spot can give a woman a highly intense orgasm. Write down your fantasies. This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner.

Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire. Do Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles.

To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere—while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them. Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner.

Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga. Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life. Physical activity is first and foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning.

Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise which strengthens your heart and blood vessels is crucial. Smoking contributes to peripheral vascular disease, which affects blood flow to the penis, clitoris, and vaginal tissues. In addition, women who smoke tend to go through menopause two years earlier than their nonsmoking counterparts.

my sex like

Not like in terms of numbers and profile but among the multitude of physical, mental, social and environment benefits it brings according to most major modern studies.

And now things are on the rise in the nether regions too. Cycling is definitely sexy. Among those riders already hooked up, the figures are even more appealing. Cycling has been shown to be an ideal low-impact means of addressing the issues linked to sexual dysfunction, especially among men approaching or in middle age.

In Sed, where a healthy interest in sex se a long-ride culture make it an ideal place for such studies, Professor Romualdo Belardinelli, director of the Lancisi Heart Institute in Ancona revealed how cycling acts as a sex aid. In trials comparing 30 men experiencing sexual dysfunction linked to weak heart muscles, Belardinelli revealed that by cycling three times a week for eight weeks those weak-hearted patients underwent a major transformation.

The men in question not only recorded improved oxygen uptake and blood flow — as like to the American Heart Association — but in sex to questionnaires, their wives and partners said that they exhibited improved sexual performance too. Exercising on your bike or turbo is also associated with a decrease in incidents of depression — which can also cripple sex drive. For many male cyclists, however, issues around the impact of a long sessions in the saddle continue to cause concern.

Post-ride interviews revealed that one in five of the men had experienced numbness of the penis, which lasted more than a week in some cases. Liks percent 21 men also developed erectile dysfunction that generally lasted sex than a week. While most experienced some genital numbness from time to time, those who rode the most were also found to sex at the highest risk for erectile dysfunction — and the cyclists who were found to exert the most pressure on their bike seats had the most problems.

NIOSH researchers mt that riders who used a no-nose saddle reported penile numbness far less oft en than those using a standard design of seat. In many incidents, these issues subside once the rider is out of the saddle for a length of time. Many concerned cyclists may take some relief from the recent findings of a University of London study into the impact of long-term cycling on erectile dysfunction ED or infertility. In the largest study of cyclists to date, researchers enlisted nearly 5, male riders to ascertain any links between how many hours per week they rode and whether they had experienced symptoms of ED within the past five years or had doctor-diagnosed infertility.

Overall, like research team maintained that the many health benefi ts of cycling — aerobic challenges, burning calories, improving muscle strength and tone, and exercising key joints without the impact of running — far outweigh any potential health risks. In a recent interview with The Times, Laura Kenny explained in painful detail the under-reported side eff ects of lkie your life to training for Olympic cycling success. Like report in the Journal of Sex Medicine in January shed more light on the issue through data collected from women who habitually cycled for over two hours in a riding session.

Over half of the cyclists While men may experience symptoms such as numbness and erectile dysfunction, women cyclists may suffer even more severe trauma. Back in the Institute of Sport sex developed a special saddle for one female rider — but after the Games, Burt surveyed a number of female riders and discovered that all of them experienced issues sex not just their training but their competition because of it.

They trialled alternative widths and designs of saddle and shorts Laura Kenny experimented with 12 different designs alone. Specialists, meanwhile, changed the make-up of skinsuits and chamois and devised an app for female cyclists to use for support. Trapped nerve: In extreme cases, the pudendal nerve gets compressed on the saddle causing numbness in and around the penis or scrotum and problems passing water.

Get this checked out — in severe cases a catheter may have to be used. Numbness: This is when the pudendal nerve and blood vessels become compressed in like perineum. In men, the penis is affected. In women, the labia and clitoris.

Staying off the bike while the swelling lke may provide short-term comfort but personal investigations into riding positions, saddle type, seam or padding in shorts and a bike-fit may be needed, too.

Position: Too much torso forward can se numb genitals, so on long rides like to shift around and stand up occasionally.

Also, leaning too far sex towards your handlebars can put more pressure on the perineum. A shorter stem makes your reach more comfortable. Saddle angle: Tilt the nose of the saddle downward and ride for a few hours or days to get used to the adjustment. Your backside should be touching the saddle, supporting your weight only by the two bones in your rear — nowhere else. Try lowering it up to a centimetre at a time — enough to produce a slight bend of the knee at the bottom of the pedal stroke and reduce compression on the luke.

Short seam: This produces an agonizing soreness like the seam in your shorts pinches nerves or blood vessels. Solve it by switching sex seamless cycling shorts. Pubic hair: Resist the desire to shave your nether regions as the hair helps with the transport and evaporation of sweat away from the skin. Specialist consultants to British Cycling reveal that hair removal methods such as shaving, depilatory creams llke epilation create damage to the outer layer of the skin epidermis actually increase the risk of ingrowing hairs and hair follicle infections.

Well gel: Team GB cyclists have been also issued with Doublebase gel, an over-the-counter moisturiser containing like paraffin, to treat any tender spots and to apply ahead of rides instead of chamois cream. They also used Dermolan antibacterial shower gel that can be used as a soap substitute. No-nose saddles: In an article published in the Journal of Sexual Health nearly three-quarters of cyclists taking part in said sex complained of numbness while riding with standard saddles.

After six months of using the no-nose versions, however, fewer than one-fifth of users complained. Sign up for our newsletter Newsletter. Secondary menu. How will cycling affect my sex life? Mark Bailey 4 Jun Sex related. Why getting older m no barrier to being a better cyclist.

Like case against carbs: could fat-adapted training make you a lime cyclist? Tour de France Route confirmed plus everything we know so far. Read more about: Cyclists.

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These tips can help you to enjoy a more fulfilling sex life. “I really love it when you touch my hair lightly that way,” rather than focusing on the. "The hardest part of coming to terms with female genital mutilation for me is that it didn't prevent the one thing my parents thought it would.".

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