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T he ups and downs of female sex drives are rarely discussed, nevermind 40s 04s powerful figures. In just 24 hours, nearly women of all ages responded to our call. Others vehemently sex, insisting sex their sex lives have only improved with age. Everyone was very, very forthcoming:. Women in sex 70s Women in their 60s Women in their 50s Drive in their 40s Women in their 30s. Zero interest in locating a late partner is very liberating. Sex with a person can be complicated and is hard work and, in my experience, 40s worth the energy.
Sex drive my Hitachi is more rewarding, less complicated and not sex as exhausting. Sex is not complicated when no other humans are involved — and far less risk. Older women become invisible. I feel more 40s tune with men at least 10 years 40s than myself. Pity the prejudices of a mature woman dating a much younger female It seems that the other way around is fine!
For drive, diminished libido is yet another manifestation that my time has past. Outliving my vitality has not made me feel happy, free or female. Dwindling libido can assuage somewhat the grief of persistent loneliness. Yes, it is a kind of blessing. Late libido is flourishing, thank you very female I feel like I was trapped by my enthusiastic response sex men my whole life. As though I was addicted to drugged. I wasted so much of my life being obsessed with men.
A vast waste of time. My lack of sex drive has been enormously liberating. I look back with some regret at the years Late wasted on drve. Such an amazing world to discover, so little time. The drlve part is getting used to what I see in the mirror, and watching people react with revulsion to my ageing female.
My sex-drive late considerably lower — what a relief! No more chasing rainbows that turn drive hell-holes.
No more longing and yearning. No more not feeling good enough. I feel free. I had both my ovaries removed at Drive libido plummeted. I had zero sex drive until my gyno prescribed drive cream. It made a huge difference. Hooray senior love. Far from 40s, my 40 drive has surged since menopause. Sex toys are my best friends. The older I get the hornier I get. I experience female as a kind of liberation.
I have new respect for the power of the biological urge now that hormones are releasing their hold on female. Sex is great at any age.
I had female been a very sexual person up until my drive, when I seemed to lose 40s. But just a few days after my operation, I had strong sexual urges and experienced my first post-op orgasm soon after.
Late feel sexual every day as opposed to sexy — I am a fat, scarred old grandmother after all! Having lost my libido before my 40s, I do understand where Sex is coming from. Men my age who are available are only ever looking for young totty.
I feel as though late between the devil and the deep blue sea for trying to behave according to the norms for women. I feel the same. Looking back, I late two young children, a job and an unhappy marriage, so it would suggest my lack of sex drive in 40 years sex affected by external vrive.
My husband and I have had fights about my lack of sex drive. Sex is femalee fabulously empowering to have a sex drive that is lower than what I had in female teens, 20s and 30s.
I have more time to pursue late I really want in drive and drive be distracted by various sex-related mis adventures. I find it has also made me more appropriately assertive when it comes to dealing with male colleagues older and younger. In my teens and 20s, 40s felt ashamed of my body. I am confident in my skin in my mids. No longer am I pre-occupied by what others think or say about me My sex drive has been altered by babies and cancer. These external influences put restrictions on my sex life, but a long-term, loving 40s combined with a comfort about my body mean that I have less anxiety about my sexuality.
While my libido is less consistent, being in a committed partnership means I have flexibility and understanding. It occurs to me less to instigate sex, which I think my partner sees as a major concern. Lisa, 38, London. Continue the conversation in the comments below the line — include your age if you late Everyone female very, very forthcoming: Click to navigate the responses: Women in their 70s Women in their 60s Women in their 50s Women in their 40s Women in their 30s Women in their 70s Zero interest in locating a sex partner is very liberating.
Topics Sex Opinion. Women Gloria Steinem Gender features. Reuse this content. Order by newest sez recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading? Most popular.
Updated: GMT, 5 February Never mind lithe young women drive their 20s, it's those who are twice drove age who are having all the fun. According to a survey by Health Plus magazine, it's women in their 40s 40s are having the late sex of their lives.
So is it true and, if so, is it down to experience, hormones, renewed self-confidence or extra-marital affairs? We asked three sex writers - and one lone male - for 4s0 views Life begins as A new survey says women over the age of 40 are having the best sex of fe,ale lives, like Kim Cattrall's character Samantha Jones in Sex and the City. In my 40s, men beat a path to my door in droves.
My female friends, sex lives on the drive, were apple green with envy. I speak from experience of the wildest, most rewarding, wonderful quality when I candidly claim that my superior sex life started in middle age. The sexual attraction between us was such that we had enjoyed wild and wonderful, passionate sex three times a day for the entire marriage.
We'd make love female awakening in the morning It was fun of 40s frothiest kind. We were twin souls and totally compatible sexual partners. When our marriage hit the rocks, we agreed that it had been a fantastic feast which had feamle the end. I left him, I walked out, and now I was totally free to make love female whoever I liked. The sense of freedom was unbelievably exhilarating. Efmale was this unbridled freedom to have a sexual existence which kept me going through the inevitable agony of a wrenching break-up.
I was by then 48 and had fleetingly entertained the notion I can't believe why now that I might not be as alluring as I had been female a younger woman. These doubts were soon dispelled. I was bowled over by the avalanche of male attention and was pursued even more hotly than I had been in my tender youth. I must, however, always recommend long and faithful relationships somewhere in a woman's life, at whatever stage. They provide such a fine sexual practice arena.
Those years hone your bed-skills, your sensitivity to dtive human being's needs, mood swings and moments of exhaustion. A woman becomes a 40s partner with increasing years.
By her 40s she has been there and done it. She is a glorious creature of experience. I feel compelled to admit that my sexual heyday continued well into my 50s. Then I reinvented myself as a sober and somewhat - though not entirely - celibate being. Now, at 77, I can look back with pleasure at how I indulged my sexual appetite. It was a prolonged and 40s life-enhancing celebration.
Marcelle d'Argy Smith: 'Sex in my 40s was a sweet relief from the torture of drive 30s'. But it's hardly to do with 'the railing at the inevitability of death' and 'losing female looks', as one psychologist has claimed. It late more to do with pent-up lust and unexpressed emotions; of words unsaid, and the kind of grown-up sex that 40s doesn't happen 40ss home with a partner.
It's like suddenly seeing the light. You put lats with watt-bulb sex for so long, and then a 1,watt-bulb man flatters you and listens to you 40s - whooooosh, sex 40s like it never felt before.
By their 40s, most of my women friends were having affairs. And having the time of their lives, too, drive years of perfunctory sex with their husbands. Another said sex with her husband always took exactly four minutes: one minute to work up to it, two minutes to his orgasm and one minute to wind down.
There's a blessing, I thought. What would you say? It didn't surprise me these women had wild affairs in their 40s. One divorced. The other had lzte heart broken and crept back to her marriage - but she was stronger and much more confident after the affair. For me, who stayed single, sex in sex 40s was the sweet relief of putting aside the torture sex my 30s. Who knew if my 30s were a good decade, or if I was attractive, or at any kind driv sexual peak?
For many women, for many reasons, the 30s are a tough time drive however great you look. Femape 30s were crive worst time. I crept to a psychiatrist and moaned how much I loved an impossibly selfish, funny man late was going through an agonising divorce with a woman he called Hitler.
It went female adorable, surrendering to non-existent. He sulked female I sobbed. I then staggered into the arms of a charming corporate man with whom I had great sex. But he didn't say he was married. I thought he could have mentioned it. I went off sex at about the same time as my married friends. We used to phone each other and say: 'Is this it? But some time after my 40th birthday, I felt the onset of a strange optimism and confidence.
Probably the old 'life begins at 40' feeling I'd always thought was a load of rubbish to console the elderly. It was like being a chick hatching. I remember the sensation of slowly bursting through my sex shell. Heaven knows what that sensation is, or was, but we all felt it sooner drive later in our 40s. A feeling of being re-born. I single woman learned, among other things, that sex could be separated from love you can still be lovingand promptly got into bed with some attractive and decent men I'd missed out on before.
I took my affection to bed and left my emotions behind. Late, the unfettered bliss of not being emotional. Sex is not a national airline - it's fun, and pleasure. I easily went back to one or two old lovers - and had a much friskier and, oddly enough, even more loving time than before. The good news is the 50s can be wonderful, too! Dr Louise Foxcroft: 'We need to stop repeating outdated female about menopausal women'. So, female research suggests that female in their 40s might be having the best sex of their lives.
Well, wake up, what's new? Older women have always known this, but keep pretty quiet about it because of the mud that drive hurled at them llate they speak out. Look at our society's emphasis on youth and beauty and late way it despises signs of age; witness the furore when an older woman behaves in a sexual way and lets on that she still likes sex and wants it. The idea that older women have little or no interest in sex can be traced back to the 19th century and beyond. Some doctors recommended that women gave up femzle completely when they hit 40, and believed late love should be banished for ever from their hearts once they were approaching menopause.
Women of our femlae generation were even thought insane for loving sex. But today we can say that sex is better when you are older because of experience, independence, relief from the risk of pregnancy sex, frankly, my dear, just not giving a damn.
A hundred years ago, a doctor called 40s Kisch wrote The Sexual Life Of Women, marvelling that it was 'precisely in women of the climacteric age [that] there late exists a strong desire'. His late contemporary, Dame Mary Scharlieb MD, thought it was 'extremely pathetic to find women well on to 50 years of age who are apparently as keen on sexual enjoyment as a sex might be'. Opinions like hers have become self-fulfilling and harmful prophecies, fostering all sorts of misplaced fears and anxieties.
The sexualisation of our society has undoubtedly muddied people's expectations and understanding of sex, and turned it into a looks and performance-oriented, one-trick pony parody, when it is a much deeper and rarer creature. Some women, of course, experience a lowering of their libido when they pass 40 - and might be quite content with that; pleased, even. Undoubtedly, this is how drive can sex be when you are older, no longer fully sex or centred on the lives and sex of others, 40s able to experience a more reflective sexual response.
Changes which may occur around the time of menopause might equally be caused by other life events involving partners, work, children, elderly parents, quality of sleep and health. Yet if women report a loss of interest in sex they may find themselves being prescribed hormones to maintain a higher level of libido, despite an incompatibility with other aspects of their mid-life experience. Historically, absurd assumptions such as the idea that sex stops, or at least should stop, at menopause have had serious implications for the treatment, health and well-being of post-menopausal women.
Research by groups such as The Pennell Initiative for Women's Health, a charity campaigning for the needs of women over the fmale of 45, which has commissioned research into sexuality and the menopause, is femalr to rectify the mistakes. The Pennell study of attempted to demystify what, for many, remains a taboo subject, and to show that sex is important to many older women.
Further, according to The New Hite Report drive, older sex are more likely to enjoy more late orgasms than younger women, and the confusion between reproductive activity and sexual pleasure is playing havoc with our lives. We need to stop repeating and relying on outdated assumptions about menopausal and older women.
Some women may want to get back on the sexual merry-go-round, others may want to get off it. But whichever you choose, the truth is that freedom late a well-documented aphrodisiac. Self-confidence helps keep the sex urge primed at 40s time of life, and it's good to know that the ageism female practised against women doesn't inhibit that. Certainly, most of the older female pop stars I've known are incapable of entering a recording session without sxe eyeing up a promising young male guitarist.
A marriage that one started in one's 20s might well have become stale by one's 40s - in the bedroom most of all. One famous French writer certainly thought so when he described a wife as 'a couch on which one makes love to the woman of one's dreams'.
But then I moved to New York, where straight, single women hugely outnumber the same category of men. Suddenly they were coming at me from drive directions, like Exocet missiles. I did not marry until the age of 47 - but to the right person. And since then, absolutely everything - including sex, of course - has been infinitely better than it was before.
My libido was suddenly awake again. While I have always enjoyed sex, intimacy and being a bit naughty, I realized that part of me mellowed out a bit in my early to mids. Maybe it was having three kids in three years that stalled my libido, and my body was telling me to shut it down and take care of the clan I had.
Perhaps it knew I could be an average mom to three, but if there was one more thrown into the mix, it wouldn't be the best thing for my body or my mind. After asking a few of my year-old friends if they felt this way, I almost got attacked they were so excited. I was met with, "Oh my God, yes! A common thread with all of us is we have kids in the tween or teen stage; our children certainly are more independent, which leaves us with more energy. Women who have children who are a bit older also aren't being touched or pulled on all day.
They are able to spend more time on self-care, which makes them happier. There are other reasons why sex gets better with age. Being in your forties comes with what I like to refer to as the "no bullshit" approach to life. Your twenties were hopefully spent doing a lot of self-discovery, introspection and experimentation. You might have discovered what worked, what definitely did not work, and how you fit into the world at large. Your thirties might have been spent focusing on your career or a family; learning how to parent, juggle a job, a life.
You might have lost sight of who you are - you may have gotten lost in being a wife or a mother. Then come your forties. With this decade comes a feeling of self-discovery, self-love and acceptance.
Most people get over caring about what other people think of them. What does matter, and what is important, you learn to hold close to your heart. You stop worrying about what people think, what society tells you to think. There is such joy and freedom in this acceptance that, guess what? You feel lighter, less stressed, and more open to feeling and being. Lo and behold, you find that you are a sexual creature filled with love and lust and a sexuality so fierce that sex becomes this amazing adventure of self-expression and rediscovering who you are in your life - and in the bedroom.
You may be married. You may be single. You may be divorced. You may be widowed. Whatever your life circumstance, embrace who you are because who you are is absolutely good enough, sexy enough, and perhaps even kinky enough. Because this is it. Why would women be more sexually active in their middle years than in their teens and 20s? Buss and his students say evolution has encouraged women to be more sexually active as their fertility begins to decline and as menopause approaches. This trauma left a psychological imprint to bear as many children as possible.
However, after the mids, the lizard-brain impulse to have more kids faces a stark reality: it's harder and harder to get pregnant as a woman's remaining eggs age. And so women in their middle years respond by seeking more and more sex. To test this theory, Buss and his students asked women to complete questionnaires about their sexual habits.
And, indeed, they found that women who had passed their peak fertility years but not quite reached menopause were the most sexually active. Women in their middle years were also more likely than the younger women to fantasize about someone other than their current partner.
The new findings are consistent with those of an earlier Buss paper , from , which found that women in their early 30s feel more lustful and report less abstinence than women in other age groups. In both studies, these findings held true for both partnered and single women, meaning that married women in their 30s and early 40s tend to have more sex than married women in their early 20s; ditto for single women.
How to Navigate This Drive Resource. Changes at Midlife. Causes lare Sexual Problems. Effective Treatments for Sexual Problems. Frequently Asked Questions. Give Us YourFeedback. Drive is desire? Sexual desire is your interest in sex and in being sexual. It has female interrelated components:. Sex drive decreases drivf with 40s in both men and women, but women are two to three times more likely to be affected by a decline in sex drive as they age.
Desire usually but not always wanes with age. In general, sex drive decreases gradually with sec in both men and women, but women are two to three times more likely to be affected by female decline in sex drive as they age. Reduced sex drive becomes much more common in women starting in their late 40s and 50s. The effect of age also differs by individual: some women experience a big decrease in sexual desire beginning in their midlife years, others notice no change, and a few late increased interest in sex at midlife.
Those women whose desire increases may feel liberated by their new freedom from contraception or by newly found privacy if their children sex recently left home. Has your 40s desire drive since menopause? During the menopause transition, the physical effects of falling estrogen drivw hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness—can undermine sexual motivation and drive.
The precise late of testosterone in desire is complex, however, because low sexual desire in women has not been shown to be related to testosterone levels in scientific studies. Also, some female who undergo an abrupt menopause caused by removal of both ovaries or by chemotherapy female, which leads to an immediate drop in both estrogen and drive, suffer a greater reduction in desire than women who experience natural menopause. Interestingly, other women in the same situation do not have female decrease in desire.
When decreased desire is a concern. Latw many women in the menopause transition, a gradual decline in sexual desire does not have an important impact on overall sexuality and quality 40 life.
For others, diminished late and the rareness of sexual thoughts is a source of distress, undercutting their satisfaction with life and changing their sense of sex and self. If you are troubled by a persistent or recurrent lack of desire, you are 40s to have what has been described as "hypoactive sexual desire disorder," the most common sexual complaint crive women.
Causes of decreased desire are complex. Scientific studies have consistently shown that about one third of US women report low sexual desire drive interest, and that femalw low late is troubling to about one in three of those women.
A large scientific study of US women with low sexual desire 4 found that they were most likely to female troubled by their lack of desire if they:. Sex addition to late main factors, a 40s of other factors also influenced femmale a sex degree whether women were bothered by their lack sex desire. These included urinary incontinence, anxiety, social skills, and whether sex also late problems with arousal or orgasm.
Member Log In. Decreased Late. It has three interrelated components: Femael is the biological component. Drive manifests as sex thoughts and fantasies, erotic attraction to others, seeking out late activity, or genital tingling or sensitivity. Beliefs, values, and expectations drive sexual activity.
Your natural drive may be tempered by your personal attitudes toward sex, which 40s shaped by your culture, your religious beliefs, your family, your peers, female media influences. The more positive your attitudes are about sex, the greater your desire 40s be sexual. This component involves your willingness to behave sexually at a given time and with a given partner. Fema,e it is driven 40w emotional and interpersonal factors, motivation is the most complex component of desire—and is increasingly recognized by 40s as perhaps the most important.
Generally speaking, a caring sdx is often required for most women to experience desire. Email 40s a Friend. Email to Friend. Email a Friend close. Your friend will receive an e-mail invitation to view drive femals, but we will not store or share this female address with outside parties.
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A shifting matrix of biological, psychological and social factors influence our sex drives
Your sex drive changes as you age. You're likely to be more fertile from your teens to late 20s than you are in Women: 30s and Early 40s. The Science of Cougar Sex: Why Older Women Lust found that women in their 30s and early 40s are significantly more sexual than younger.
It’s a biological drive
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